Letting Go
by Millie
Summary: Eleanor learns how to let go. O'Hara/Jackie, O'Hara/OC


Eleanor O'Hara was worried about her friend. She was worried about the woman whom she had come to rely on and treat as a sister. Yes, she cared for her as a sister would. Even though Jackie was not receptive or accepting of how Eleanor viewed her. She had been flighty and at times not all present when Eleanor had needed her in the past. But now…now it all seemed to make sense.

"Drug addict. Drug addiction." Eleanor found herself speaking out loud to herself. She was in a bar. It wasn't like anyone would notice her speaking, but she felt silly for having spoken at all. She sipped her vodka laden drink and stared down into its icy clear surface. She rolled the ice cubes around, feeling tired, yet not ready to leave. Not yet. The hotel room she had to look forward to at the end of every day seemed empty without the promise of seeing Jackie tomorrow morning. She began to realize she was all too reliant on Jackie. For being at work and for entertaining her every whim.

"What was that?" A soft voice asked.

Eleanor almost didn't look up, or even take notice of the person talking beside her. She didn't even consider someone was talking to her. But she could feel eyes on her, watching as she took another sip of her drink. Curiously she turned and found two entrancing blue eyes staring at her. "Hmm?" Eleanor mumbled around her drink.

"I thought," soft highlighted curls fell around an age perfected visage. "I thought you said something."

"I rightly might have." Eleanor shrugged and let a small smile slip at the edge of her lips.

"Ah, British. Lovely." The woman smiled.

"Yes. How astute of you." Eleanor motioned for the bartender to refresh her drink.

The blonde looked her over, her warm smile still present. "Are you in town on business?" She asked, sipping her martini.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Eleanor gave her a half glance.

She laughed and turned away, "all right, you're dark and mysterious. I get it."

Eleanor sipped her newly refreshed drink and practically snorted. "Dark?" She looked over in to those serene, crystal blue eyes. "And mysterious?" The blonde met her eyes, seemingly trying to read Eleanor's mind. Her blue eyes flashed curiosity, questioning whether or not Eleanor was being serious. But as soon as Eleanor let a slight smile curl on her lips, the blonde laughed.

"I'm Lorna."

Eleanor sipped her drink and took Lorna in. She was wearing a sequined collared top in a jewel toned green and classic white pants. Her heels were strappy and black and most obviously from a small town department store. What stood out most prominently, though, was a gorgeous rock on her left hand ring finger. It was lined in smaller diamonds and set in a beautiful silver band. Married, but curious. Interesting. "Lorna from Kansas. You're obviously here on business. What is it you do?"

Lorna looked shocked for a moment. "How did you…yes. Yes, I am. I'm a financial consultant."

"Impressive." Eleanor raised her eyebrows and sipped her drink again.

Lorna seemed to be searching for something as she studied Eleanor closer. "So…"

Eleanor raised both her eyebrows and shrugged. "What?"

"Your name?"

"Eleanor, MD."

"A doctor."

"A doctor." She nodded, sipping again. She leaned in closer to Lorna, reaching out to tuck a strand of blonde behind her ear. "You probably don't do this, I'm sure. And I know you're married, who could miss that rock." Eleanor's hand lightly covered Lorna's, rubbing it ever so gently as she spoke, her lips inches from Lorna's ear. "You're on business and it's clear what you want. So why don't you cut the coy, shy act and bed me, like I know you want to."

Lorna's face reddened as the doctor whispered in her ear. Eleanor's breath was warm, and sent chills down her spine. Her fingers clenched together as she tried to steady her breath. She wished that Eleanor wasn't so close and she wished she wasn't lightly touching the back of her hand.

* * *

"Oh, fuck!" Lorna called out, her knuckles as white as Eleanor's hotel room sheets. "God-fucking-damnit." She cursed, words that hadn't been uttered from her lips for years. Not since her eldest had been born. Thinking back, in her sex induced haze, she couldn't remember a time when her husband had made her feel this good. "Oh…Elle…Elle…Eleanor! FUCK." She came hard against Eleanor's lips and persistent, circling fingers. Lorna was gasping for air as Eleanor kissed lazily up her stomach, stopping only to tease her nipple with her teeth, and then pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

Lorna whimpered and pulled Eleanor closer to her, wanting to kiss her, to taste herself on her lips. It had been years since she'd experienced this. Years of off and on sex with her husband, mostly off. Their marriage was boring, unexciting. And this…this was spectacular.

"That was…" Lorna panted, pressing another kiss to Eleanor's lips. Eleanor leaned her head against her hand and smiled down at Lorna. "That was…" her eyes slid closed and she smiled.

Eleanor laughed. She hadn't felt this good since Sarah had left her. She hadn't been with anyone. Sarah leaving and her mother dying had thrown her off, but this had been exactly what she'd needed.

"Thank you." Lorna pulled Eleanor to her, the two falling beside one another, Eleanor in Lorna's embrace.

Eleanor buried her face in Lorna's shoulder, kissing her bare chest. "When do you leave?"

Lorna sighed, tears of happiness and sadness slipping out the side of her eyes. "Friday."

"As in the day after tomorrow?" Eleanor looked up.

Lorna quickly wiped at her eyes and nodded. "I'm in meetings all day tomorrow."

"Dinner?"

"Drinks?"

"Fuck." Eleanor rolled away from her. "Work."

Lorna rolled on to her back and nodded her head. She closed her eyes and ran her hands over her face. Suddenly she sat up."I should go."

"No." Eleanor reached out and grabbed Lorna, and in one swift motion had her pinned beneath her.

Lorna laughed and leaned up to kiss Eleanor. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Leave your husband." Eleanor knew she sounded desperate and she hated it, but she was sick of people leaving her. First her mother, then Sarah, and Jackie, and now…

Lorna shook her head, tears of laughter sliding down her cheeks. "I can't, it's…it's not that easy." She reached up and pulled Eleanor to her. Her lips brushed against Eleanor's. "This was a one night thing." Lorna searched her eyes. "Wasn't it?"

Eleanor quickly shook her head. "Yes." She rolled off of Lorna and turned away from her. "Go, if you'd like."

After a few moments, Eleanor expected to hear Lorna get up, but instead two arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. A gentle kiss was pressed to her shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere tonight."

Eleanor smiled.

* * *

The hospital was empty without Jackie. Eleanor tried to not think about it, but when a gunshot wound wheeled in at seven o'clock, she couldn't help but wish that her favorite nurse was present. After adhering to the man, Eleanor slipped out the back and lit up a cigarette.

Her hand was shaking and she glanced down at her phone, for some reason expecting to see a message or a call. Instead she saw her usual background. She tucked it back in to her pocket and inhaled.

A familiar figure appeared out of nowhere and Eleanor began to wonder if she was losing it.

"Jackie?"

The short blonde haired woman came to a stop before her.

"What are you doing here?" Eleanor demanded, pulling her in to a hug.

"I'm walking." Jackie's hug was loose.

"Aren't you…"

"No. I'm figuring some stuff out." Jackie stepped away from Eleanor and shrugged.

Eleanor nodded.

"I'd better…um," Jackie's eyes shifted to the side and Eleanor couldn't help but notice she was jumpy and seemingly looking for something. "I'd better go."

Eleanor's instinct was to reach out and stop Jackie from doing whatever she was about to do. She was about to say, "no." But just as Lorna had reminded her, Eleanor couldn't keep everyone.

She simply nodded and watched Jackie walk away. She hoped she'd be back soon. She had no one to go try the new restaurant that had opened up around the corner with. It looked expensive and French and the duck looked heavenly.

Eleanor would be damned if she took Zoey with her.

"Bye, Jacks."


End file.
